It’s jarring when you want to feel something and you just… can’t. I want to love vegetables. If only I were in the mood to go out. I wish I felt closer to you. Self-help books may tell you to listen to your body. But sometimes, a little exploring and coaxing can help close that gulf between wanting something and feeling it—and this is so true when it comes to sex. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wanted to want to have sex, but my body was like eh in the moment. (Anyone else?) What I’ve found is that a little help by way of some inclusive sex products and advice on intimacy can both put me at ease and eventually in the mood.
Featured image by Riley Reed.
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These tools also push me to learn more about myself. Each of us contains multitudes. And our sexual self is only one part of our whole. When we peel back the layers and dive into the nuances of intimacy and what turns us on, an ocean of self-discovery comes into play.
Each of us contains multitudes. And our sexual self is only one part of our whole.
That’s one of the cool bits. The other is that great sex and deep connection can happen even if we’re not feeling it just yet. The following eight sex products and inclusive advice prove this. So whether you’re looking for help getting in the mood or you want to feel more connected to yourself or others, the below are like gentle guides, narrowing the chasm between what you want and what you feel.
8 Sex Products that Boost Intimacy, Eroticism, and Connection
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Lubricants and Oils
My biggest sexual regret is not discovering the power of lubricants and oils sooner. Thankfully, it seems public awareness of these two products is growing as of late. Recent research underscored by the World Health Organization shows that the use of personal lubricants can significantly help improve sexual wellness and pleasure and reduce stigma and pain. I’ll anecdotally add that they can turn blasé feelings into fire.
Massagers and Soaks
Novelty is often the ticket to more fun and deeper connection. Inviting some newness in the form of a massager or vibrator can help break any ice and venture into new realms. These products also act as compasses to help you find what you really want. Plus, a good soak always makes for a long pause, which is a recipe for eroticism.
Books and Podcasts
Sometimes greater intimacy requires a deeper understanding of our desire for connection and our views of sex. The following reads and listens help us better know our sexual selves—and so much more.